


Finding Home

by harpit



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Rumors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3358334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harpit/pseuds/harpit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my Captain Swan Secret Valentine gift to the lovely hiseyestellnolies on Tumblr.  The story was inspired by recent cuddly CS spoiler pics and pregnancy rumors that I chose to work with in my own way.  Very fluffy with a dash of angst and a squishy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Home

Finding Home

Grey light struggled to illuminate desks full of barely organized paperwork, empty food wrappers and endless cups of cold coffee as the howling wind hurtled snow hard enough to rattle the double pains in their wooden frames. The sounds of shrilling phones and whirring fax machines did battle with the storm and created an unsettling soundtrack. 

The Sheriffs station in Storybrooke had never really been a placid place considering the magic and mayhem that usually surrounded the town but you would think that after almost three months of blessed peace that at least the mayhem would have slowed down a pace. Not so much.

Emma Swan gritted her teeth as she took yet another report of a stolen car over the phone. Undoubtedly it would show up a few days later with some rude notes and lewd suggestions on the windshield but for now she had to listen to the irate owner of one blue Miata – condition mint – rant about his neighbors and other possible suspects. Hanging up the phone, she placed her head against the blotter pad on her desk and just breathed. It had been like this for weeks and she was just about ready to go to Regina and demand they find some way to ship everybody back to the Enchanted Forrest.

“You all right there, Emma?” the amusement in her father’s voice made her growl.

She looked up at him, frustration welling in her. “We have had three weeks of stolen cars, robberies, missing sheep and countless other acts of stupidity. This town has finally gotten a break and this is what they do?” She ran a hand through her hair and winced at the greasy feel, wondering when she’d last had the chance to wash it.

David smiled at her and she felt some of the tension melt out of her shoulders. It was that smile he reserved for her alone, blue eyes twinkling with endless patience and love.

“They’re bored, I suspect,” he held up a hand when she started to protest. “Emma, these people went from thirty years of practically living the same day over and over to being tossed into almost three years of constant danger. Things will settle down but they’re going to need to find a happy medium.”

Emma thought about that and realized that it did make some crazy kind of sense. Everybody had been through so much that it must seem odd to not have a magical big bad threatening them. She just wished that they would get it out of their systems sooner rather than later.

“Sweetheart, why don’t you go for the day. You’ve been putting in 60 hour weeks lately. Go have dinner with your pirate.”

She shot her father an amused glance, “so you’re really okay that he’s now my pirate?”

David rolled his eyes at her and huffed out a breath. “Well it’s not like he’s going anywhere and I know he loves you so I suppose I’m going to have to deal with it.” 

Emma grinned at him. He was trying to sound annoyed and failing spectacularly. Warmth bloomed in her chest at his simple declarations. Killian did love her and he was going to stay. She was finally beginning to accept that he would be the one to never leave her. She looked at Graham’s bootlace on her wrist and nibbled on her lip. She had taken it off several times now but it still felt like a security blanket of sorts. Smoothing fingers over the worn cotton, she wondered if maybe it was time to put it in her keepsake chest. She had caught Killian looking at it every now and again with a bit of sadness on his face and once again wondered at his patience with her. She still hadn’t said the words to him. It seemed like the lace and those three words were her last frail barriers against him.

“Emma?”

She looked up to David concerned face. “I’m okay, just tired.” Deciding to make her final decision by the end of the week, she started to pack up. She desperately needed groceries considering she shared her new apartment with two males, one of them with the dreaded teenage stomach. “I will go if you’ll be okay? I need to pick up groceries and run a few errands before Killian and Henry get home.”

To his credit, David only winced slightly at that. He hadn’t been thrilled that her pirate had moved in almost immediately after she found a new place by the water with enough room for the three of them. She smiled at him winningly and knew that despite his bluster and posturing that he held a deep affection for Killian. It was mutual she knew and she wondered how long it would take them to admit it publicly.

Snickering to herself she stood up and immediately had to grab the edge of the desk as black spots danced before her eyes.

“Emma!” her father was by her side almost immediately and propped her up until her vision cleared and the dizziness went away.

“Stood up too fast!” she said, taking deep breaths. She looked at him ruefully, “I don’t think I’ve moved since I got here at six.”

His lips brushed her forehead tenderly and she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “My hero”

He pulled back from her and gave her an ear splitting grin. They were both still getting used to her acceptance of him as her father and enjoying it immensely. “Go. Run your errands and get some rest. I don’t want to see you back here until at least ten tomorrow.”

Emma started to protest but he waved his hand at her. “All of this can wait. The townsfolk need to start learning that we can’t be at their beck and call 24/7.”

Nodding in weary agreement she kissed him on the cheek and headed over to her outerwear so she could reasonably face the nasty weather outside.

***

Reaching the grocery store in her yellow bug, Emma managed to find a decent parking spot and dashed inside while the wind and snow buffeted her. She brushed herself off and stomped her feet, unamused that snowstorms in April were common in this part of Maine. She had visions of tropical beaches dancing in her head when she heard her phone beep at her. She hadn’t been checking it very often since she’d been so busy and sighed at the thought of catching up on a bazillion emails and notifications. She grabbed a cart and started tossing things into her it as she scanned for important e-mails and notifications. Creating calendar notifications was the only thing that kept her organized.

‘Call Mom about summer bulbs for garden – Due today’

‘Pick up three gallons of milk, two loaves of bread, cheese, peanut butter, meat , veggies, butter, pancake mix, chips, salsa, shampoo, razers, condoms and poppycock– Due yesterday’

Well, at least she had her grocery list.

‘Remind Killian to fix broken window upstairs – four days overdue’

‘Buy tampons – ten days overdue’

Emma stopped in her tracks at the last reminder. She checked the date on her phone as she felt the blood drain from her face and she leaned heavily against her cart. 

God, she was over a week late! Heart racing with fear, panic and some other emotion she refused to acknowledge, she leaned against the shelf behind her and tried to breathe. They had been careful! She was on the pill and they almost always used a condom as a backup. She hadn’t been sick and there was just no way possible… Emma placed a shaky hand against her flat stomach and had to blink away tears. What would Killian say? Would he be angry? They’d only been together physically for two and a half months – two and a half really amazing months but still. An image of an infant with black hair and brilliant blue eyes popped into her head and she squeezed her eyes tight and tried not to panic.

“Are you all right, Sherriff Swan?”

Emma’s eyes popped open as she looked into the concerned face of Edgar. He was a friend of Henry’s from school and worked here part time. She nodded and tried to smile at him. “Just tired,” she tossed in another loaf of bread that she’d probably been squishing and then waved at him as she steered her cart to the next isle. “Thanks, Ed.”

He waived at her, blushing and Emma forced herself to focus on the list. She went through the store at a brisk pace and got almost everything she needed. She stopped for a moment and then resolutely headed her cart to the pharmacy isle. Grabbing three different pregnancy tests, she searched for the most harried looking check out person and put her cart in line.

Checking out, hauling groceries and the drive to her new home were a blur and Emma vaguely tried to remember if she had put the groceries away. Staring at the three separate tests that she had laid out on a paper towel she looked at the digital clock on the vanity. Four minutes to go. Unable to sit still any longer she made her way down the stairs, glancing at pictures of Henry in the stairwell as she went. She had placed them in chronological order and Regina had donated a few so that by the time she reached the bottom step, she was staring at him as a baby with big brown eyes and chubby cheeks. A tear rolled down her face as she leaned her forehead against the wall near the picture.

Could she do this? Emma knew she wouldn’t be alone this time and she bit her lip thinking about holding a child that she and Killian had made. She swallowed hard as she realized that despite how fast it had happened, he would be absolutely thrilled at having a baby with her. She knew she was still insecure about people leaving her but he had been her one constant, always supporting her and believing in her. She mentally pulled up the false memories of raising Henry that Regina had given her and wrapped her arms around herself, letting the tension ease from her shoulders. She could do this. More importantly, she suddenly realized she wanted to do this. Wanted to get big as a house and feel her baby kick and see the look on her pirate’s face when he held their child for the first time.

Emma glanced at the clock over the mantle and noted the time. Taking a deep breath, she stood up and traced her steps back to the master bath. She loved this place with its water views, two large bedrooms and a third smaller one that she’d planned on turning into an office. She looked at the open door to the small room as she reached the landing and imagined a crib and other baby furniture adorning it with cheerful yellow walls and had to swallow a lump in her throat. She forced herself to move into the room she shared with Killian and stepped into the roomy bathroom with the huge claw foot tub that had originally sealed her decision on renting the place. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then looked down at the tests.

Negative

Negative

Negative

Emma sat down hard on the toilet seat and then got up and checked them again. They still said the same thing. She wasn’t pregnant. She wandered dazedly over to the king sized bed and sat on it as she processed the sharp feeling of disappointment and an odd feeling of grief. It had only been just over two hours and yet something had shifted in her. She wanted that baby with Killian. Wanted to commit herself to him and the life they could have together – the one she knew he desperately craved.

Catching sight of Graham’s shoe lace she once again fingered the frayed edges of it. It had been her reminder to never let herself love again, to never let herself be hurt. But she had let herself love again and had finally come to trust that the people around her truly loved her. Even Ingrid had loved her in her own twisted way. Emma gently unknotted the lace and unwound it from her wrist, feeling lighter as each coil was lifted from her arm. It was time to let the old hurts go and let herself embrace the family she had always wanted. They had been there for her and now it was time for her to be there for them.

Folding the lace, she gently placed it in the wooden box she kept on her dresser and shut the lid. She looked up as she heard the front door blow open and the following curses as Killian and Henry pushed the door closed against the wind and snow.

“Swan?”

“Up here, Killian” She was so glad that they were home. 

“Mom, why are all the groceries sitting on the kitchen counter? Oh cool, you remembered the Poppycock!”

Emma rolled her eyes at her son and walked the railing as Killian came up to greet her. “Why they’re waiting for you to put them away of course.” She grinned at her son’s tortured groan and went up on tiptoe as Killian leaned down to kiss her in welcome. She wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his shoulder in contentment. He smoothed his hand up and down her back and she felt him kiss the top of her head.

“You’re father mentioned that he’d sent you home early, are you not feeling well?” He cradled her face in his palm and she saw his brows lower in concern. “Emma, you’ve been crying. What’s wrong?”

She felt tears well again and ducked her head against his neck. “I’m overtired and just need some rest,” she murmured. She accepted that she was a bit fragile right now. She’d been through a lot emotionally in the last few hours and now she just wanted to eat dinner with her family and then cuddle with Killian in bed. Her fearsome pirate was a fantastic cuddler.

He pulled back and she knew he was about to call bullshit – he read her so well. She shook her head and stroked his cheek. “Let’s eat and then we’ll talk.” She kissed him softly and then turned to walk down the stairs and her bottomless pit of a son.

“Henry, you had better not have eaten that entire box of Poppycock! I know for a fact that Regina fed you both breakfast and lunch.” Emma entered the kitchen with its white cabinets and Tiffany blue walls and folded her arms across her chest as Henry gave her a guilty look and pushed the empty box behind him.

“Um, I’ll help you with dinner?” He gave her his best winning smile and she snorted at him. 

“Not only will you help with dinner but you will clean up dinner by yourself. And then you’re going to finish the homework I know you have before there are any video games or TV.”

“Moooom,” he whined.

She held up a finger and he sighed dramatically and dropped his head, “yes, ma’am.”

Grinning at his forlorn tone, Emma grabbed him and planted smacking kisses over his face until he giggled and ducked out of her grip. He was getting so tall. She watched him as he started to chop onions and bell peppers at her direction and then unable to help herself, went over and hugged him from behind. “I love you, Henry.”

He turned and grinned at her “I love you too, even though you make me do slave labor.”

Emma bopped his nose with her finger, “damn straight!”

“Emma, may I have a word with you?”

Curious at his serious tone she turned to face Killian and noticed that he had a plastic stick in his hand. Realizing that he must have gone into their bathroom rather than following her down the stairs she felt her heart speed up with anxiety. She turned to Henry and asked him to saute the vegetables and then simmer the ground beef.

Looking again at Killian, she followed him as he took the stairs and then went into their bedroom. She closed the door behind her and after taking a fortifying breath turned to face him.

His jaw was ticking as he watched her and he lifted the test strip. “You’re carrying my babe,”

Emma winced at the tremulous note in his voice. “No, I’m not,” she whispered back, once again feeling the disappointment wash through her.

He gestured to the bathroom with his hook. “I read the boxes, Emma. I know the tests confirm pregnancy.”

She stepped forward and took the test out of his hand and tossed it into a nearby trash can. Placing both of her hands on his chest leaned up to kiss him. “The tests also confirm if you’re not pregnant, Killian.” She brushed a lock of dark hair off of his forehead as he looked at her intently. “I’m over a week late for my period and just realized today.” She ducked her head, “I had hoped…”

Killian gently lifted her head and she felt her heart swell at the stark joy on his face. “You had hoped?”

Tears slipped down her cheeks and she nodded. “I want to do this, Killian. You and me and Henry and maybe…” she paused and took a shaky breath. “Maybe someday – “

His arms tightened around her, “Not maybe but when,” he said fiercely.

Emma let out a sobbing breath and stroked his cheek. “I love you, Killian.”

A huge grin cracked his face and he let out a giddy laugh, “about bloody time, woman!” He dove at her and pulled her into a frantic kiss that she returned with interest.

Only the very loud banging of their bedroom door was enough to tear them apart, panting for breath.

“I’m only going to say this one more time! I’m a teenage boy and need food, don’t know what I’m doing and am going to burn this place down if you don’t stop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW.”

Emma felt hysterical laughter bubbling up and went into a fit of giggles, laughing even harder as Killian had to adjust himself as he swore under his breath.

“We’ll be right down, lad. Your mother and I had something important to discuss.”

“Of course,” Henry replied with an exceedingly dry voice. “I’ll just go down and try to not set the kitchen on fire.”

Killian shook his head and wrapped his arms around her again. “I can’t believe I just signed up for another one.”

Emma just smiled at him, loving him even more fiercely for the fact that he considered Henry his.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I love you too by the way,” he said roguishly and waggled his eyebrows at her.

She gave a watery laugh as she felt happiness tingle through every part of her. “I know.”

Killian beetled his brows at her, “really, love?” I declare my feelings for you and you quote that Star Wars movie at me."

Grinning at him, she opened the door and dragged him downstairs. “Well I am Princess Leia after all.”


End file.
